When being a parent hurts 😓

It's not often I talk about children or being a parent but it's part of what makes me who I am today so I want to send a message to other parents out there... it's hard and it's normal to feel like you're not in control, to feel like you're not perfect and to feel like you should be doing more.

I like things to run smoothly in my life, I like to have somewhat control on the upbringing of my children because the last thing I ever want them to experience is any kind of hurt that I went through, so yes I spoil them, I give in to them, but not enough to interfere with them learning about responsibility and not enough for them to walk all over me.

But this week I feel like a complete failure, my heart bleeds anytime I see my children upset or hurt, so when I saw my daughters report card and her comment in the "goals" section "my goal is to have at least one friend" I cried. My little girl is very smart, she is very beautiful and hugely intelligent but she also has ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) that one can be hard to manage 😂. Willow doesn't have the best social skills, she sees the good in everyone and she doesn't quite understand when someone doesn't want to be her friend so she always seems to be left out of everything, play time, friends houses, birthday parties. Willow is often bullied, coming home everyday crying, she has been punched, kicked, had balls thrown at her, abuse hurled at her and even choked, I've done all I can, even seen the police about it but this happens at most schools, there are kids as young as her (9) that are ending their lives because of this. So I guess I just want all parents to try and be pro active when it comes to your children, don't tolerate bullying whether it's them getting bullied or if they are bullying, please teach children that it's not ok to bully and it's not ok to mistreat people.

I was bullied growing up, I was spat on, kicked, punched and even had my face cut open by a piece of shattering glass, sadly my school bullying life was the better part of my upbringing, I am lucky though, I have music, I channel my feelings into songs, we aren't all lucky to have an outlet like that, and sadly some children that are bullied at school have a far worse time at home, lucky for Willow she is very loved, she has 2 loving parents and 2 loving step parents that are there to pick up the pieces but not all of us have that.

Teach your kids to be good, decent people and if your child is being bullied, go to the source but above all else, be there for them, love them and pick up the pieces. Parenting the the hardest and the most rewarding job in the world.