I've worked tirelessly on being a good person, learning to be more empathetic, caring, loving; focusing on being goal orientated, believing in myself, learning, improving; working on confidence, motivation, self analysis, that's a lot to work on isn't it? I felt like I had covered everything and then, just last week I was told that I needed to give you guys more of me, I needed to show you who I am as an artist and a person not just as a singer.
See, as it turns out, the one thing that I had not worked out how to do once I had spent all of that time working out who I was as a person, was to share that with you, mostly in fear of negative backlash, I read statuses these days and almost every positive is somehow turned into a negative and that scares the crap out me! I don't want to be judged, I just want to coast along nicely, in the background but I forgot one very important thing, I don't like the background, I don't want to blend in, I guess in a way I want to have my cake and eat it too. I've always been confident, always the extrovert, not scared of anything but as we get older, we become conditioned by society's expectations and although I still have a great amount of confidence, I honestly am petrified at times to deliver myself with the amount of confidence I have in fear it will be misconstrued arrogance.
I like peace in my life, I have experienced enough awful people to last my life time, but I am carrying these experiences forward with me and it's holding me back from showing you my personality, I love to interact on social media, I love to chat with people, and majority of the people I have on my social media are just beautiful but there a just that few that can ruin it, I share and communicate on social media but I do so extremely guarded, and that is coming at a cost, you guys aren't really getting to know me, therefor I am going to start being me a lot more, you may or may not like that (my husband doesn't 😝🙈) he says I talk too much, but that's one of the reasons I started blogging, only to find that most of my blogs are just surface stuff, so now ill be having an opinion, I'll be ready for criticism and hopefully for equally as much love.
I hope my post tonight inspires you to be who you truly are too, that doesn't mean we just stop thinking and start tearing people a new one when we are having a bad day lol, it just means, show people who you are, I had a student just this week, I asked her "who are you as a person" her answer was, "I'm what people want me to be" and I was horrified at her answer and spent the next 10 minutes talking her answer through with her, only to realize, that's what I do essentially, lately I've been told numerous times "stop hiding in the background" I was told that again just this weekend but what I realized is that I have become so accustom to comfortably sliding into the background that I don't even know I'm doing it anymore.
So from now on I will be welcoming you into my life and sharing with you more than just what's on the surface.
Live life & love